Why Being Human Feels So Demanding (Managing stress and practicing self-compassion)
- Seth "Skye" Savoie, PsyD
- Sep 7, 2025
- 6 min read
Updated: Sep 18, 2025
Learn how therapy can help you manage life’s demands and stress.
Is It Normal to Feel This Overwhelmed?
While being human comes with plenty of excitement, it can also bring stress, anxiety, and that “my brain just checked out” feeling. Is this normal? The short answer is:
Well, yeah… sort of.
Being Human is Hard
In my work as a clinical psychologist, I often treat people who are juggling a mix of emotional, social, and personal challenges. What I’ve realized is simple… being human is hard. Stress and anxiety are normal responses to life’s frequent changes, but when demands pile up, it can feel impossible to keep up.
Different Types of Demands
Just when you feel you have it all figured out, something new is thrown your way. Whether it’s a new obligation, a scheduling conflict, or loss of a job or relationship.
People are pulled in by so many sources that demand their attention, effort, and energy. While there are many, I’ll cover a few main ones.
Work & Academic
All the stuff at work and school that requires you to show up mentally and put in some effort. The "I Need Money To-Do-List." These include, emails, deadlines, studying, projects, commuting to work, and all of the in-betweens.
While work can be very stimulating and foster feelings of achievement or success, it can also come with mental fatigue, pressure to perform, and exhaustion.
Social
The energy giving (and draining) parts of your social life that sometimes don’t come with a nap button. This one can be called the "Relationship To-Do-List." It includes things like family check-ins, raising kids, friend hangouts, dating, scheduling adult playdates, calling friends, and so on.
Your social life can bring feelings of connection, satisfaction, entertainment, and fulfillment. However, when social demands pile up, you may feel stress, shame, and guilt for not being able to keep up.
Psychological & Emotional
These are the demands required of you to refuel your mental and emotional gas tank so you don't hit "empty" and experience burn out (i.e., your "Mental Health To-Do-List").
It includes taking mental breaks and doing things you enjoy like streaming your favorite show, reading a book, taking a walk, or diving into a hobby you haven't touched in 6 months (no judgement).
Ignoring the demands in this area can lead to more feelings of stress and decreased life satisfaction. I find it interesting that these tend to be the demands we ignore first or put on the back burner when overwhelmed.
Physical & Biological
The basics you can’t skip if you want to be a healthy human and not have bad breath. Think of it as the "Staying Well To-Do-List" and it includes things like sleeping regularly, eating balanced meals, moving your body, and basic hygiene.
Giving attention to these demands allow us to feel well, have energy, and function each day. Also, another area that tends to be neglected when life gets busy.
The Balancing Act: Why It Feels Impossible
Often, these demands compete with each other. For example, all in the same day you have a work project due (work demand), a birthday party to go to (social demand), need to cook a healthy meal so you don't rely on fast food for the third time this week (physical demand), and altogether while having to study for an exam in the night class you're taking (academic demand).
The demands are, well, demanding. It may feel like playing a video game where the levels ask you to choose between disappointing your partner, your job, your friends, your boss, or your tired eyes that just want a nap. Honestly, it’s a lot to manage and can sometimes feel impossible.
The point it is, all of these responsibilities add up and it may feel like there's not enough time in the day to fully show-up in all of these areas. Before you know it, you’ve found yourself really stressed and anxious with tough decisions to make while struggling to balance it all.
Accepting Impossible & Employing Compassion
As a therapist, many of the incredible humans I’ve worked with become critical of themselves when they are unable to fully meet and satisfy these competing demands. This criticism comes in the form of self-talk, such as ideas and thoughts you have about yourself like:
“I’m not good enough"
“I’m not doing enough”
or “I can’t do this.”
For many, critical self-talk is their primary response to stress, conflict, struggle, or change.
But if I can’t be mean to myself, what do I do instead?
Great question! For a lot of people, engaging in critical self-talk when faced with the impossible demands of life only results in less motivation, less creative problem-solving, and less ability to cope with these demands.
The Truth of Impossible
The truth is… most people are unable to fully meet all of the demands placed on them in life. Part of being human is to navigate moments of impossible and disappointment, such as having to say ‘no’ to a new opportunity at work because you already have so much on your plate. It involves accepting the discomfort and reality that fully meeting the demands in all areas of life is, in fact, impossible.
Accepting Impossible
Rather than beating yourself up over your inability to meet these competing demands or taking it as meaning something is wrong with you or you’re not good enough, see it for what it is. Impossible. In this acceptance, you may finally stop blaming yourself and instead file it under the universal truth folder labeled: “Yeah, this is impossible—please see IT for support.”
Practicing Self-Compassion
Regularly practicing self-compassion may help you better navigate competing demands without experiencing burn out or feeling defeated. Dr. Kristin Neff has a ton of information on self-compassion and how to practice it on her website, here.
Action Tip: Create a compassionate mantra for yourself as you navigate competing demands and new sources of stress. For example, “I got this,” “this stress is temporary,” “I’m good enough and here’s why…”. In essence, practice what we therapists might refer to as Being a Compassionate Best Friend to yourself.
Build Resilience & Re-Balancing
Finding ways to build resiliency to stress is important. That means taking time for yourself to work through, and work on, problems. It involves beefing up those problem-solving and stress-management skills!
Social support is also crucial to managing the demands of life, especially when stress is hard to navigate on your own. Having a healthy support system (e.g., family and friends) in place can be a huge help. Resiliency, social support, and good coping skills can help you balance and re-balance as demands in life change.
How Therapy Can Help
And when there’s times when you need a bit more support than family and friends are able to offer, that’s where a professional support person can be of assistance.
Therapists can help by:
Helping You Identify Triggers or Warning Signs
Receive help with figuring out the warning signs, situations, life roles, or demand expectations that cause stress, anxiety, or depression to spike.
Teaching You Coping Strategies
These include proven skills for managing stress and demands, such as breathing techniques, mindfulness, and time-management tools that can bring a sense of calm to the body and mind.
Guiding You to Work Through Unhelpful Patterns
Help with understanding whether stress is rooted in perfectionism, people-pleasing, or unrealistic standards.
Supporting You to Build Resilience and Skills
Shifting from just “managing” stress to feeling more capable and flexible when new demands in life arise through proven skills and techniques (e.g., stress-management skills).
Helping You Strengthen Your Identity and Values
Support in learning to define yourself by your strengths and values, not your mistakes or shortcomings when faced with the impossible.
Empowering You to Challenge Unhelpful Beliefs
A space to practice challenging unhelpful beliefs and replacing critical self-talk with supportive, compassionate self-talk.
Take-Home Message
Life comes with many demands from work, relationships, or our own expectations. It can feel overwhelming and it’s easy to slip into self-criticism when you can’t meet them all, but the truth is: no one can do everything at once. By practicing self-compassion, building resilience, and reaching out for support when needed, you can create more balance and ease in your daily life. And if the demands feel too heavy to manage alone, therapy can be a safe space to gain tools, perspective, and encouragement along the way.
Take care of yourself,
Dr. Savoie
About Dr. Savoie
Dr. Seth "Skye" Savoie is a therapist and licensed clinical psychologist who provides mental health treatment to adults in both Michigan and Texas. He's passionate about helping people find emotional wellness.
To learn more about his approach or schedule a free 30-minute consultation, reach out or schedule online:
